Mom, there is a boy I like

I might have grown up, yet still clueless about this. No, this post is not about that boy. This is, simply, just a way of me expressing words that I couldn’t say – words that have stayed long at the tip of my tongue.

Mom, there is a boy that I like.

I wonder what response you are going to have. Would you give me such a lecture telling me that I am still little girl who know nothing about love, or such an advice telling me what to do and how to handle my feeling, or else would you ask me about what kind of boy he is.

Mom, there is a boy I like.

I wonder how your first impression of Dad, how you started to build relationship with him. Mom, I wonder who made the moves most between you two. How you finally gave your heart completely to him is another thing I also want to know.

Mom, there is a boy I like.

I like him, stupidly. So much that I do really want to tell everybody, everyone. It is illogical that only by seeing him can make me happy, yet I am afraid and feeling so insecure and I don’t know what to do. I wonder is there something wrong with me, Mom? Is it normal to be this weird?

Mom, there is a boy I like

I wonder why this kind of love is different than the way I love you, or Dad, or Sister, or best friends. I know this amazing yet frightening feeling may change and I know for sure every time the feeling comes, once again I’ll be happy, once again I’ll be afraid. “Pain is just a consequence of love,” Srizzati said. Mom, please pray for me that I wouldn’t attach my heart to someone who doesn’t belong to me.

So you know I still am lost and this matter is not the most important for me now; but one day, firmly, bravely, I will tell you this: Mom, there is a boy I like; and I will be happy to finally know how your response gonna be.