Expectation (n) — ex·pec·ta·tion \ ˌek-ˌspek-ˈtā-shən , ik- \
– A strong belief that something will happen or be the case in the future.
Happiness may be caused by good thing comes when you least expect it.
Living 20+ years, I’ve known that what happens in life is not always be like what we want..
Yet I’ve just understood that human shouldn’t expect towards things in this life,
Expecting nothing from the beginning might be easier than overcoming the hurt feeling of not meeting expectation afterwards.
Eh I can’t tell which is harder, both are not easy.
But this year I’ve finally realized what people said as “pedihnya sebuah pengharapan” (??)
Let’s admit that most of us ever had crush(es).
I was once, twice, expecting something from someone in return of what I had felt.
Then I realized I was so stupid, thinking “Siapa aku berhak dicintai :(”
— but still expect magic happens between us??
Crushing only makes you desperate. Love should be reciprocate feelings, ryt?
Now I come to the point: just don’t have feeling towards other when he doesn’t have feeling for you — daripada capek sendiri.
So it should be like this: “Siapa kamu berhak aku cintai :)”
— gagitu juga deng – depends on people..
I mean, now I know when I want to give my love then it’s because I want to give it,
because of my inner self, without expecting in return.
At this state, ones I know loves me so much, bigger than mine, is Allah
— and Rasulullah, and followed by mom, dad, sister :’
I know my love for them will never be enough
— and who am I deserving love from any other else?
Expectation also becomes something that has to be managed well beyond that matter.
Having good school track record (in previous chapter) doesn’t guarantee having good life track record.
I am not as smart as I thought, and maybe smart is not enough, you need luck;
I also forget that you need to strive for what you want
Bye-bye time I’ve passed because of me expecting for the result, only
– without understanding the process (drop a tear)
So then from this adulting thing I embrace more feelings gitu.
It’s okay to be regretful a bit, sad a tiny little bit, unworthy a very tiny little bit, you can be not happy.
As those feeling can be self reflection.
Mungkin intinya just let it be, but still go for it 🙂
Gitu deh pokoknya.