Adulting: about role

Role (n) — rol  \ ˈrōl \
– a character assigned or assumed / a function or part performed especially in a particular operation or process

(capek pake bahasa inggris)

jadi ya intinya ayu sedikit sadar kalau
setiap orang punya perannya masing-masing,
dan ayu harus makin yakin kalau
waktu yang dikasih bakal cukup-cukup aja buat mainin perannya – seutuhnya;
terus ayu juga tidak bisa tidak berterima kasih karena di hidup  ini
ayu bertemu orang-orang yang memainkan peran mereka dengan sangat baik,
sampai pada akhirnya, apapun perannya, akhir dari hidup setiap orang tetep sama: mati.


Adulting: about expectation

Expectation (n) — ex·pec·ta·tion  \ ˌek-ˌspek-ˈtā-shən , ik- \
– A strong belief that something will happen or be the case in the future.

Happiness may be caused by good thing comes when you least expect it.
Living 20+ years, I’ve known that what happens in life is not always be like what we want..
Yet I’ve just understood that human shouldn’t expect towards things in this life,
not anything,
but Allah.

Expecting nothing from the beginning might be easier than overcoming the hurt feeling of not meeting expectation afterwards.
Eh I can’t tell which is harder, both are not easy.
But this year I’ve finally realized what people said as “pedihnya sebuah pengharapan” (??)

Let’s admit that most of us ever had crush(es).
I was once, twice, expecting something from someone in return of what I had felt.

Then I realized I was so stupid,  thinking “Siapa aku berhak dicintai :(”
— but still expect magic happens between us??
Crushing only makes you desperate. Love should be reciprocate feelings, ryt?
Now I come to the point: just don’t have feeling towards other when he doesn’t have feeling for you — daripada capek sendiri.
So it should be like this: “Siapa kamu berhak aku cintai :)”
— gagitu juga deng – depends on people..

I mean, now I know when I want to give my love then it’s because I want to give it,
because of my inner self, without expecting in return.

At this state, ones I know loves me so much, bigger than mine, is Allah
— and Rasulullah, and followed by mom, dad, sister :’
I know my love for them will never be enough
— and who am I deserving love from any other else?


Expectation also becomes something that has to be managed well beyond that matter.
Having good school track record (in previous chapter) doesn’t guarantee having good life track record.
I am not as smart as I thought, and maybe smart is not enough, you need luck;
I also forget that you need to strive for what you want

Bye-bye time I’ve passed because of me expecting for the result, only
– without understanding the process (drop a tear)

So then from this adulting thing I embrace more feelings gitu.
It’s okay to be regretful a bit, sad a tiny little bit, unworthy a very tiny little bit, you can be not happy.
As those feeling can be self reflection.

Mungkin intinya just let it be, but still go for it 🙂
Gitu deh pokoknya.

#easiersaidthandone #namanyajugaanakmuda


This will be an incremental post.

In the year of 2017, I’ve never thought before what I would face mostly related to adulting, and moving to ‘new chapter in human’s life’ is challenging.

There are some points I want to share in this post, which cannot be separated from my adulting phase – which means: yes this post is so me!

This post might include my view on:

Expectation – Portion – Role – Priority – Respect – Acceptance – Fear


See you on the next post(s)!


Promise is just a promise, that even I cannot guarantee promise(s) I’ve made..

But let me tell myself, at the very least, that I’ve ever thought about my own self.

That I made promise(s).

I promise myself, I was and am and will always be happy for being me,

and that I have to be grateful,

and learn to be better.


Why can’t time stop for a while so I could clear my mind…

Why can’t the future be shown so I wouldn’t be so confused thinking about it…

Why can’t the past be changed so I would have regretted for nothing…


Because it is life.


Real life, I mean.


Mohon doanya ya, supaya saya diberi petunjuk yang lurus oleh Yang Maha Kuasa :’

Dan selalu bisa bersyukur!

Dan segala doa baik lainnya!

Doa yang sama untukmu juga!

Terima kasih!

Source of Happiness

Like a friend’s tweet, “The existence of you increasing my serotonin,” – and my endorphin.

Even though actually one should define their own happiness, I agree with the saying to see someone you’re into can make you happy.

If to be loved is a gift, so is to love, i suppose?

Even though you cannot choose whom your heart will fall into…

At the same time happiness comes, a-kind-of fear comes along.

Why is that……………….

For this unknown feeling you’re scared of, remember that anything you’re scared of isn’t actually (that) scary.

As people said, why don’t enjoy it while it lasts…?


Merely a Venusian, with her complex emotion.


BADR Shortcourse X Internship: Week 5 (Final)

By this, my post titled BADR Shortcourse X Internship will end (gatau deng).

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Semakin ke sini, semakin gabener catetan internship-nya ya (re: banyak selipan, sedikit pelajaran)… Yaudah gapapa, nanti ilmunya di-share di momen yang berbeda…

Di minggu ke lima, sebenarnya sudah waktunya masuk kuliah. Thanks to masa add-drop, masih bisa cabut (?) Di minggu ke lima, ada tiga kelas yang diberikan: Design Thinking (cont’d), Go to Market, Intro to Marketing, dan Financial. Continue reading